She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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