Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
