please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i've created a new STD.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
