I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
