Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
