I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize