just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
