There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
