There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
