I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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