she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
vagina is talking i cant
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize