i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
