The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
