The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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