The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
my liver is dry heaving
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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