his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
