Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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