I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
