If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
