wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize