Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize
