I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
