just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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