yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
