I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
