I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i was born a porn star she said
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
