I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
