and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize