This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
