I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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