wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
the raccoons are back...
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