I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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