So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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