this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
