It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
