is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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