I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it glows. i had to have it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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