Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
