just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize