I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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