im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize