then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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