i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
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