i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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