I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
