this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
