everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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