this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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