Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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