If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
