At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
