Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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