Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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