I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
