when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
