we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
