If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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