Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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