Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
