is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
