summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
