And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
